{"id":7678,"date":"2011-11-20T05:00:55","date_gmt":"2011-11-20T10:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mrsellars.com\/mrblog\/?p=7678"},"modified":"2011-11-18T21:52:52","modified_gmt":"2011-11-19T02:52:52","slug":"awww-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/?p=7678","title":{"rendered":"Awww, Dad!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I make no apologies. I’m an overprotective dad. I mean, just look at what I write for a living. Because of the research I do in order to write those books, I know crap that you should be freakin’ ecstatic that you don’t know. I’m dead serious. Some of the sh*t I’ve learned about sociopaths wakes me up in the middle of the night, drenched in a cold sweat and reaching for the Glock in the nightstand.<\/p>\n

THAT’S why I’m an overprotective dad…<\/p>\n

Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not a bit silly too. After all, it’s a moral imperative. Dads are supposed to embarrass their kids. It’s an inalienable right. It’s handed out to you the minute you become a father. Trust me. It’s in the paperwork. No kidding.<\/p>\n

And so it came to pass that coldness crept into our city as winter descended upon us. And with said cold came bundling up when walking the child to school – what with being an overprotective dad and all, not to mention that I’m wheels down and about to do a three point on that half-century mark, so the doc wants me to exercise. I sit on my ass all day, slinging words, so my fingers are getting all the workout.<\/p>\n

But I digress…<\/p>\n

Like I said, so it came to pass, and with it passing came the following conversation:<\/p>\n

“Do I look sufficiently weird?” I asked.<\/p>\n

E K looked me up and down. “Oh yeah…”<\/p>\n

“O-SPRING!” I yelled. “Time To GO!”<\/p>\n

(thumpita, thumpita, thumpita… came the child down the stairs.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Around the corner the O-spring came, then screeched to halt, staring at me. Then she moaned, “Daaahhhh-ahhhhhhhhddddddd!”<\/p>\n

“What?” I asked.<\/p>\n

“You’re wearing THAT to walk me to school?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah. Why?”<\/p>\n

“Daaahhhh-ahhhhhhhhddddddd!” she moaned again, rolling her eyes in the process.<\/p>\n

“What? Do I embarrass you?”<\/p>\n

“Well, yeah…” she replied.<\/p>\n

“Good,” I told her, suddenly channeling Macaulay Culkin from the movie Uncle Buck, in a paraphrased sense, of course: “I’m a dad. It’s my job.”<\/p>\n

And so off we went. I trailed along behind at a short distance… Until we got close to the school, of course. Then I closed the gap. I had to make sure all of her friends knew I was her dad…<\/p>\n

ANATOMY OF AN EMBARRASSING DAD<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

TO READ CAPTIONS CLICK PHOTO AND ENLARGE – MAY TAKE A MOMENT TO LOAD<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

TO READ CAPTIONS CLICK PHOTO AND ENLARGE - MAY TAKE A MOMENT TO LOAD<\/p><\/div>\n

More to come…<\/p>\n

Murv<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dads are supposed to embarrass their kids. It’s an inalienable right.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1477,76,5,156,77],"tags":[7852,4560,4957,5016,5512,4150,7498,4559,7851,7189,7842,4151,288,7850,7849,7601,4976,8118,7839,4653,4735,679,4650,4811],"class_list":["post-7678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friends-and-family","category-humor-life","category-life","category-parenthood","category-silliness","tag-anatomy","tag-auto","tag-city","tag-click","tag-cold","tag-course","tag-dads","tag-draft","tag-enlarge","tag-freakin","tag-glock","tag-imperative","tag-job","tag-macaulay","tag-macaulay-culkin","tag-mark","tag-middle","tag-murv","tag-overprotective-dad","tag-sense","tag-trust","tag-uncle","tag-width","tag-yeah"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7678"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7678\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainpanleakage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}